Letters

I was teaching magic last week, so I lots of the kids wrote me mail in post office class. I always get a larger stash in my mailbox when I'm teaching magic or one of the other more fun classes. It's more fun for them anyway - it can be quite draining to teach over and over, but it's rumoured that we'll have a children's magician coming at the end of the month to teach a couple of us some new tricks. I'm so excited! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ To: Ryan magician Hi! How are you? I'm finde magic show is good! very good! card magic show amazing. good! "wow" Abrycatabry good! bey bey Ryan Abrycatabry! So cute. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Teacher's magic was really amazing. Why don't you be a global magician? I want see that again. Teacher have nice ability of magic and make us fun. Thank you for teach English to us and show nice magic. Thank you very much. Global magician. That's totally what my new career's gonna be. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dear Ryan Hae my name is james How are you? I am 10 nears ar I like SEV [Seoul English Village] I want to cone again My favorite teacher is It is very fun by by by james... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dear: Ryan Hi! teacher. my name is Tim. How old are you? I'm 13 year's old. please give me a magic rabbiet. teacher! the magic is very good. I like magic. I think you are very kind. Good Bye teacher. Korean kids love magic. Some of them go to magic schools - occasionally I've even managed to get through a whole class without needing to perform a single trick myself! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dear Ryan Hi! i'm James Jino Be 'ABracadabbra' gngogilW. Ji-cu-cu gom co HoBnin-o-six two seven nu-n four u - I one fourign James u gngni m At least, I think that's what he wrote. It's hard to tell where one word ends and the next begins. Maybe he's writing in code. He spells his name 'Jamts' on the envelope, but he does gets bonus points for drawing a picture of me shooting thunderbolts from my fingertips. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dear Ryan I like magic. Do you like magic? Your magic is very fun! It is good! I like this!!! -> Abracadabra~ Ho Ho Ho You are a tall and Handsome. You are a very very good man. Always nice to hear. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fan-mail excerpts

The typical letter that I receive from a student goes pretty much like this: Hello Ryan teacher! My name is X. How are you? Good. I like you because you is/are tall/handsome/kind. My favorite class is Y (where Y is rarely the class that I've taught them), because it is very fun. Do you like pizza/soccer? Goodbye. I love you. X Even though I'm sure they tell it to everyone, or maybe just so I'll give them more excellent stamps, it's still very good for one's self-esteem to hear 'teacher so handsome!' a dozen times everyday. And it's generally the boys that say it... Here are a few of the more random excerpts that I received recently:

You're handsome and tall. All people in the world like handsome man! I'm not tall, so I like you...When I grow up I want to look like your face (but I'm woman...) This means "I really like your face". Wendy I want to be like your (not your body) mind. Jack

I like you because you're very kind. I think. Sky Ryan I think you are very kind in SEV! Because you are not hit and make angry. I want to be like your (not your body) mind. Jack I can't see your angry. Anon. You said the post office teacher is excellent. I think she is excellent. But she is a little bit boring. Sally

I like you and yummy for breakfast, lunch, dinner. You're nice and excellent. You're class very fun and not boring and kind. Good bye teacher. I love you. Kerry In your class I was surprise, because you bend your knee at team 10. So, I promise your saying. Sally I like you Ryan teacher. You broked my glasses but it is ok. Sam

From my fans

Dear Teacher Ryan. Hi Teacher How are you? me? not bad. Who am I? my name is Dennis my team number is 6. do you like soccer? I like soccer. Good Bye Dennis Dear Ryan Hi, My name is Peter. I was meet you post office. You is very tall and handsome. Do you like children? I like adult. You is very interesting. I like interesting adult, but I don't interesting children. When you stay English Village? I am only two day. See you again, -Finish- August 1st 2006 Dear Ryan...[and he's drawn a pink heart here] Ryan you're post office class is so interested. I have question for you. Please answer for me. How old are you? Answer ( ) I like you. But you aren't give stamp. I'm sad. Please give me a stamp. However you're class are interested and exciting too. Teacher. Have a good day and see you later bye! bye! ~ From Mike August 1st

Post Office

In Post Office class, the kids write and post a letter either to their family, or a favourite teacher. We all have a mailbox in the room, so every now and again we pop in to check whether anybody's written to us recently. Obviously, you can't go too often, as you don't want anyone to get the impression that you think it matters at all who gets the most. But is nice when you get some.

Dear Ryan Hello, My name is Sally I send for you because your name is same of my school English teacher. And you're body is much thinner than him. His is also went to Pungnap SEV [another English camp like ours]. My favorite class is music class. Because I like listening to music. And Douglas teacher is very nice and so good and kind. I hope you're happy. Sally P.S. Please give me a mail.

Dear mother Ryan, I'm happy here. I many new friends. Their names are Tonny and Sam. And my favorite class is cooking class. I hope you're happy. Love food Jimmy. P.S again Souel English Villege

It's Jimmy! Note that neither of these kids actually cite my class as being their favourite. This next one does though:

Dear Ryan, I'm happy heare. I have new friends. Their names are Jenny and Julie. And my favourite class is homestay. I hope you're happy. Love(?) Ryan(???!!!) P.S Aileen

Aileen chose to illustrate her envelope with this charming picture of Emma and I. I don't know what she is trying to insinuate: